I work from home and spend my days talking to cats.

Normally.

Yesterday, my neighbor, who rarely talks to me, rang my doorbell. He said that he doesn’t like to be getting into anyone’s business, but, and here he moved into his usual low-voice, mumbling, slushed-together speech. So I played my 21 questions with him, seeking yes or no answers.

Did you say the corner? Yes

Of the yard? No

The house? Yes

Outside the house? No

Inside the house? Yes

Did you say curtain? Yes

It moved? Yes

Like someone was in there? Yes

In the window at the corner of the house? Yes

At the back of the house? Yes

This time took only a fraction of the 21 questions to determine that he was concerned about the curtain moving in the window at the corner of the house, like someone was in there. I’m confused because there is no window at the back corner of the house, and not just on his side, but on either side. There’s a laundry room on one corner and on the other one nearest his house is a walk-in closet.

I explained that the bedroom curtains go all the way to the floor and the cats play in them, so that was probably what he saw. The bathroom window is closer to the back, but that curtain is up high and always closed. I left those questions alone, or I would have had to tell him that our bathroom is haunted.

We have plumbing issue after plumbing issue, and strange ones, like the toilet whistling, and the shower dropping a “bowl” of water out of nowhere in the afternoon. There are strange sounds that I initially thought were coming from the closet on the other side of the wall from that bathroom, which just happens to be our bedroom closet.

I should have told the neighbor it was the ghost. Why didn’t I tell him it was the ghost?

When I told my husband, he thought the neighbor coming over was the creepy part. He’s a tiny man in his 60s who will either offer to help my husband do whatever he’s doing, or stands there and shakes his head at him. He’s a junk man who holds a table saw to cut appliance panels. He drives away in his old, loud truck at all hours of the night to pick up appliances.

Y’all, now I’m thinking there’s actually someone in my house, because this neighbor felt the need to come tell me this, even though I know better. I’m waiting to find someone living in my attic, though the access is through the ceiling, a pull-down ladder that’s relatively noisy and in clear view of the bedroom. Also, both of us get up in the night, for the bathroom or to clean up cat vomit. I’m pretty sure we’d notice someone coming out of the ceiling in the hallway.

One morning a couple months ago, I experienced time out of sequence regarding this neighbor. After my husband left and before I got out of bed to make breakfast, I heard the neighbor’s truck leave, heading down the street. Then I heard his lawnmower, from his other business of lawn care. Generally, he starts it up to load onto his trailer, so it’s just a few minutes of noise. I look out and the truck is backed up the trailer, but not hooked up. Hooking up is just as noisy, with him winding the trailer down onto the hitch in a high-pitched scree. After this, I heard the truck start up and turn off, which would have indicated he was getting ready to hitch it up to the trailer. I look outside again, thinking I was dreaming the backward sequence. No truck, no trailer, and no lawnmower.

So . . . is he neighbor shady? Was he glitching the matrix? Is there someone in my house? Are they in a different dimension? A different timeline? Why is a ghost wrecking our plumbing?

Tell me your weird stories! Do you have a shady neighbor? A ghost? Have you experienced time out of order? A glitch in the matrix? Share it all!