Dear Mama,
We had a great time in Prague. When we got off the train, we saw familiar signs pointing the way to Starbucks and KFC. Then we saw a McDonald’s sign that said it was 90 m, but I think that’s European miles, because not even a block later, we stopped at Mickey D’s and got ourselves dinner. The hotel room was real nice, but a bit confusing. The bed was made of pallets, like they was real poor, but the kitchen had a sticker inside the cabinet that said IKEA, which sounded like a fancy European store. It was real pretty red. The bed was comfy, though. The big, square couch in the room was decorated in red, white, and blue. You know Europeans love America. Jimmy said the red and blue RC on the wall stood for Royal Crown Cola, his favorite, but there wasn’t no proof of it. We stayed in at night, since there was graffiti everywhere. We hadn’t seen that before and think it might be gangs, so we entertained ourselves in the hotel after dark, if you know what I mean. Every building looks like a wedding cake here. They come in the strangest colors. Jimmy and I saw a show called Darling Cabaret, which was sort of like Cats, but European style with only women playing the cats. We also saw paintings by a very famous European artist. His paintings made no sense, but Jimmy says we are more cultured now. He wanted to go to Gentlemen Brothers, but I wouldn’t let him. We don’t do that shit (sorry Mama!). Churches here look all gloomy, like Cruella Devil is gonna come strutting out. Right next to the scary church, we got to drink chocolate water from the highest chocolate waterfall in Czech Republic. I don’t think it was a natural waterfall, cuz I didn’t see how the chocolate got to the top. Jimmy got him some new jeans at a real Levi’s store. It was not an outlet, but it was still cheaper, since everything is cheaper in Prague. There’s a bridge that crossed the river that looked really old. The bridge, I mean, not the river. Well, I guess the river is older, or it wouldn’t need a bridge. Anyway, me and Jimmy did not cross that bridge, cuz it looked so old. They have lots of old stuff in Prague, even old-timey cars like you would see at home only at the classic car show every Spring in Podunk. And their TVs are older than yours, if you can believe it! They have new stuff too. We ate at I Love Mama Cafe. Ain’t that sweet? Made me think of you, Mama. Love you! See you on our next vacation!
Lily folded the letter to her mama. She looked at Jimmy.
“Really think she’s gonna buy it?”
“Course she is. She ain’t never been nowhere, sweetie. She won’t know better. She don’t even go on the internet. Hell, she don’t even know there’s an internet.”
“I feel bad for stealing that lady’s Instagram pictures.”
“That lady don’t know your mama, does she?”
“I wish we could really go to Europe.”
“I know, Lil, but we got to both find good paying jobs first. When we visit your mama next Spring…”
“You mean the car show.”
“Well, it just happens to be going on in the Spring. There ain’t nothing wrong with killing two birds with one stone, honey. Anyhoo, your mama will be so proud of us. She’ll think we’re so fancy.”
“I guess. I am looking forward to the car show.”